Jan 27, 2008

Reality Check

My sincerest apologies to those readers who have stuck with me despite not having given proof of life for a month. Part of the reason is that for a substantial portion of this new term, life is something I have been barely clinging onto (damn INSEAD diseases...) But now I feel I may have a window of opportunity before the next round of flu hits to give you an update.

P3. Hard work. I know we say this every period, but it's true (when do the "easy" periods start?!) The focus is very different, though, now that most of our schedule is taken up by electives. Instead of studying for exams, we're investing our efforts in project-work, which is a nice change of pace but results in spending 50% of your time coordinating with 5 different groups who all have different schedules, preferences, and personality disorders. Sort of like when I was working, actually.

Speaking of work, the looming fear of (un)employment has begun its slow descent over the campus. And this is where I start to struggle. Before coming here, I saw INSEAD as a way of getting to where I wanted to go. Now I don't remember where that is anymore. I find myself living in a state of complete denial, personally and professionally, and am studiously ignoring the fact that, at some point, school will end and I will have choices to make. A life to lead. I mean a real one, that involves routine, commitments and taxes rather than friends, parties and bubble-seclusion. Somehow, as the year progresses, I find it more and more difficult to imagine life after school, or to make any kind of decision at all. The downside of too much choice? Banal 30-something angst? Or a necessary step?

"Nous avons une grande force, c'est de ne pas savoir exactement ce que nous voulons. De l'incertitude profonde des desseins naît une étonnante liberté de manoeuvre."
Jean Anouilh

PS: In case you were wondering, I had a brilliant holiday with the mini INSEAD crew in Sexten, Italy. Lovely snow, lovely glühwein, lovely people, I recommend it! Go Team Sexten!