Jul 17, 2007

Le Beeg Buss C'est Moi

Barely extricated from the sauna that was my Twingo after a 14-hour trip back from vacation, and still slathered in sunscreen, I hurried to my computer to check on NV and see what my favourite bloggers had been up to in my absence. (OK, what I actually did was crack open a beer and then sleep for 24-hrs straight, cause I'm not that much of a geek, but it made the intro sound better...)

And oh, what fun it was to discover that DTLF had seemingly lost his/her cool, and created a new form of INSEAD-blogger: the profanity-spewing, mud-flinging, manic-depressive and potentially homicidal MBA student, a sort of Zorro-cum-Terminator for the 21st century's upper middle classes. And why this sudden outburst from the Guru of Zen? The notorious "Career Leader", a program which professes to be able to tell you what exactly you are meant to do with your life after having spent that hefty sum on b-school.

Undaunted and, I must admit, somewhat looking forward to being told that my ideal career path was to become either a potato-farmer in the Midwest or a road-train driver across Australia, I hastened to take my very own Career Leader test, as instructed to by INSEAD's already greatly-maligned career services. And, lo and behold, the results were.... spot on. You have no idea how disappointed I was; finally, I thought, an opportunity to draw additional readers to my blog by jumping on the "rogue blogger who shies not from telling the truth through expletives" bandwagon. But it was not to be, for Career Leader correctly identified me as a bossy, big-mouthed, smart-ass whose ultimate career goal is to achieve Total World Domination. (I apologise in advance to my future group members).

For those of you who are actually interested, here a few choice extracts from my "Professional Report":

You have a notable interest in three core elements of business work:
- Enterprise Control
- Influence Through Language and Ideas
- Managing People and Relationships
Your most promising career paths:
- Entrepreneurship
- General Management
- Management of New Product Development
- Marketing and Marketing Management
- Non Profit Administration
- Dictator of a Medium-Sized Country (OK, I just slipped that one in to see if you were paying attention)

Organizational Culture
You would fit best in an organizational culture characterized by an aggressive "rough and tumble" give-and-take in daily activity and by a high level of activity overall. ... People who thrive in these cultures view meetings, discussions and negotiations not as distractions from the "real" work but rather, as the work. And they have no qualms about making a little noise in order to get their ideas heard.

You would enjoy a culture that has a competitive spirit (internally as well as against industry rivals) and that encourages healthy conflict. ... People who thrive in these work environments tend to feel comfortable with conflict. They have no qualms about challenging co-workers when they think doing so will shed helpful light on a business decision -- or will give them the advantage in a negotiation or debate. Your tendency in this direction is very strong, so pay close attention to this aspect of any organization you consider working for.

And this is the best part:

Your assessment indicates that you are highly sociable, assertive, and outgoing. You like excitement, and you want to be where the action is. You're not someone people would describe as shy or easily manipulated. These qualities are great assets, but they can also cause you some trouble in your career.

Because you tend to have a strong, dominant personality, you may experience difficulty listening to other people and really hearing their ideas, concerns, or objections. At times, you may come on too strong, and be unable to take a back seat during a discussion or project and mesh with other members of a team. Without intending to, you may intimidate people who are less forceful than you are.

Habitually taking up too much "air time" can pose a danger in class discussions (if you're in school or in a workplace training seminar). This tendency can also hurt you during negotiations and on-the-job meetings. Be careful that you don't get a reputation for "sucking up all the oxygen in the room." And remember that sometimes the best thing to say, especially during a negotiation, is nothing.

I can hear my friends gasping for air as they roll about on the floor in embarrassing displays of belly-aching mirth. All I can say is, sorry DTLF but, either you did the test wrong, or you really are supposed to sell double-glazing to middle-aged women in hair-curlers...

On a completely unrelated note, here are a few pics from the past two weeks:

Above, and below, the Vienne Jazz festival, as shot in front of the local Roman temple.

And, of course, the beautiful St Tropez:

I don't have my friends' authorization to disclose pictures of them dancing, wearing bikinis, or pretending to be handy with barbecue tongs, so the above will just have to do for now.

A final note, in what seems to be a developing Australian-gag-of-the-week theme: can someone please explain the rationale behind Sydney's new "Go-Bag"? And, more importantly, if someone could show me how I'm supposed to carry my cats around in a cotton pillowcase (through a panic-crazed mob), that would be super. Thanks. In the meantime, I'm off again for a week but will be looking out for your suggestions, diagrams, youtube videos demonstrating this amazing feat.

1 comment:

DTLF said...

My handy Google Translator comes up short when I input "Beeg Buss," so I'm going out on a limb and guessing that you're either:

1) A big bus
2) A big boss
3) A big butt

Regardless of the choice, I'm envious. I've always wanted to be a form of motor transport (see childhood Transformers fantasy), make life-or-death decisions like whether to go with 1-ply toilet paper or 2, and most importantly, have an ass.

Actually, just give me 3 and we'll call it even.