6 am: Alarm rings. It's that annoying Antelope ring tone from the Blackberry, since I don't have my cool "wake up to your ipod alarm" from home. I mumble onomatopoeic curses and hit snooze.
6.50: Oh shit. I should really get up now.
7 am: Comfortably settled on the 1970s sofa watching BBC Breakfast on a 1980s television, with a bowl of Special K (that nice one with the red berries in it) and a similarly-sized bowl of coffee. My brain isn't completely awake yet but, from what I can tell, the news looks bad. And rainy.
8 am: Yes, I can confirm, it is raining. This is annoying as it appears I just missed my bus.
8.20: Where the hell is the bus? My new shoes are getting wet!
8.30: This is actually one of my favourite London things: riding a double-decker bus. Now if only that American woman sitting opposite wasn't so bloody shrill.
8.50: OK, so I'm a bit late this morning. The good thing is no one in this office knows who I am so I'm pretty sure they don't care.
9.30: Having fun proofreading some slides now. Aligning a couple boxes. Making sure it looks like we can spell. There we go, my value-add for the day is done. Time to call Mom.
10.30: Team "problem-solving" session. Basically this is when the partners glance at a couple slides for 30 seconds and tell us we're full of shit. Except we already knew that.
12.30: Lunch, i.e. overcooked rice trying to pass as paella and a brownie (or two) in a stuffy, windowless room. A woman at my table is conducting an in-depth analysis of the financial crisis. I wonder what she's on.
2.30 pm: Client call. I do my cheery, friendly bit where I actually act like a human and for which I have become a bit of a legend around here. I let my teammate do the content stuff. The client is happy and tells us he's now going off on a 6-week holiday. I'm literally green with envy. Maybe I need some fake tan or something.
3.30 pm: I start writing this blog post. What?! I'm entitled to a break...