People often ask me how I come up with ideas for my blog, how long it takes me to write a post, whether there's any kind of hidden message (there isn't), is there a method in the madness (nope), etc.
While occasionally I do actually have an "idea" - usually dreamt up in the middle of the night, while sitting on a metro (or now, a tram), or when I'm actually supposed to be working - most often I just sit down because it's time to write and whatever comes out, comes out.
This is one of those.
I'm in Paris this weekend. Back home. Curled up on the sofa while the deluge does its thing outside. God, I missed home. My apartment. My furniture. My books. My painting of Alina. My little Nescafé and Kellog's muesli ritual in front of the TV (so much better than the real stuff I get in the hotel back in der Schweiz). My loud, crazy, dirty street. My friends. My family.
All the things that are mine. In Switzerland, nothing belongs to me yet.
Except the job. The job is definitely My Job. It helps that no one else has ever had this job before. That no one knows exactly what the job is. The job is whatever I decide it will be. And so it is very much Mine. And I love it. Not just because of the hours, or the colleagues, or the overlapping of languages, or the man-magnet effect of saying I work for CoolCo Sub.
Mostly, I love it because I can create my own little world. And my boss trusts me. If I say I need something to happen, it happens. I never realized how empowering it is just to be trusted. I feel like I can do anything, achieve anything, go anywhere. It's an incredible feeling and one that, in my experience, is all too rare in the workplace. Don't worry, I'm not going to go all Leadership Seminar on you, but still, think about it.
So I have My Job. Finally. Although I still wonder how exactly I got here. Litigation, consulting, novel-writing and now... Strangely, it all feels rather fated somehow. Dr B thinks it all has something to do with The Boy, who apparently wasn't simply put on this earth to break my heart over and over again, but also to edge me a little closer to this new life at CoolCo Sub, this new life where I feel confident and capable and ready to conquer the world.
If that's true, I suppose thanks are in order.
Still, couldn't My Job have been in Paris instead?
Showing posts with label Jobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jobs. Show all posts
Nov 7, 2010
Sep 8, 2010
If You Were Me
On the basis that the wisdom of many trumps the wisdom of, well, me, I'm going to run something past you and see if you can't help me make sense of my present conundrum.
So, way back when, in the days when I was feeling brave enough to change, if not the world, then at least myself, I made an important decision. I was going to be a writer and, because one needs to eat, find some kind of job that paid me a decent wage but, more importantly, left me lots of time to write, run, and be merry.
Then I finished the novel and this job in Switzerland came up. Career-wise, it's very exciting. In fact, it's about as glamorous as you can get when you're a lawyer with a business degree and can't do properly glamorous things like launch your own fashion line or fly to the moon or something. It means defining my own role, hiring and managing my own team, and watching men drool when I tell them who I work for. It means working with people from all over the place with accents as confusing as mine. But it's not in Paris, it's in Switzerland. And it may not leave me very much time for writing, running, or being terribly merry, what with not actually knowing anyone in that particular city.
Last week another possible job landed on my horizon. It's not a bad job, but it's not something to gush over either. It's for a very French company, where I am likely to be viewed at worst as a threatening martian or at best, as an amusing play-thing. But the hours will be good, and I wouldn't have to move.
So what do I do? Stick to the original plan, take the job in Paris and write novel number 2? Or move on to something new and fly off to the next adventure to see what happens?
Of course, this may all be cart before horse talk. I may not actually get either job - which would have the advantage of not requiring me to make a decision.
There's something strangely blissful about that.
So, way back when, in the days when I was feeling brave enough to change, if not the world, then at least myself, I made an important decision. I was going to be a writer and, because one needs to eat, find some kind of job that paid me a decent wage but, more importantly, left me lots of time to write, run, and be merry.
Then I finished the novel and this job in Switzerland came up. Career-wise, it's very exciting. In fact, it's about as glamorous as you can get when you're a lawyer with a business degree and can't do properly glamorous things like launch your own fashion line or fly to the moon or something. It means defining my own role, hiring and managing my own team, and watching men drool when I tell them who I work for. It means working with people from all over the place with accents as confusing as mine. But it's not in Paris, it's in Switzerland. And it may not leave me very much time for writing, running, or being terribly merry, what with not actually knowing anyone in that particular city.
Last week another possible job landed on my horizon. It's not a bad job, but it's not something to gush over either. It's for a very French company, where I am likely to be viewed at worst as a threatening martian or at best, as an amusing play-thing. But the hours will be good, and I wouldn't have to move.
So what do I do? Stick to the original plan, take the job in Paris and write novel number 2? Or move on to something new and fly off to the next adventure to see what happens?
Of course, this may all be cart before horse talk. I may not actually get either job - which would have the advantage of not requiring me to make a decision.
There's something strangely blissful about that.
Sep 2, 2010
You Are What You Wear
Honey! I'm home!
And jet lagged. But never mind, it means I've been able to feel relatively guilt-free about doing nothing but watch season 2 of Mad Men over the past couple of days. I still don't know what I think of Mad Men, actually. It's esthetically pleasing, certainly, but very slow. And yet completely addictive. Like the thousands of cigarettes smoked per episode.
There was a minor storyline in this season that amused me, though. If you don't know the show, it features Elisabeth Moss (a.k.a. Zoey Bartlet) playing Peggy Olson, an advertising "natural" who gets promoted from secretary to copywriter by the lead character, Don Draper, in a rare moment of progressive thinking (which doesn't mean he's going to let his wife wear a bikini - the slut).
But Peggy has a few problems. She's a woman. She's young. She's not terribly attractive. She used to be fat. She lives in Brooklyn. She's a Catholic. But worst of all - she could be a candidate on "What Not To Wear".
Apparently, the reason she isn't getting the respect she deserves comes down solely to the fact that she doesn't Dress The Part. White cotton shirt, long skirt and a ponytail? Shock horror! How is anyone going to take her seriously looking like that? Fortunately for her, she's able to pull out a whole new wardrobe's worth of brown suits, her gay friend cuts her hair to a bob and voilà! She's a business woman!
This got me thinking. I love clothes, I believe in appropriate attire (I'm required to by birth), but I'm also a little bit kooky. Especially when it comes to work clothes. For example, yesterday I walked past Paul & Joe and spotted a yellow Bambi T-shirt in the window and thought "Hey! That would look great with a black trouser suit!" (and no, it's not a fashion term for something else, I do actually mean a yellow T-shirt with a picture of Bambi on it - the Disney character, not Michael Jackson). But seriously, couldn't you just see it?
So the other day, when I had to fly to Switzerland for an interview, it seemed entirely normal for me to lay out the said black suit with a blue, skin-tight, V-neck T-shirt. Until the Montmartoise asked what I was wearing and almost choked on her cupcake when I told her.
Yes, I know, you're supposed to make an impression at an interview. And that includes what you wear. Dark suit. White blouse. Low heels. Not too much make-up. Discreet jewelry. Blah blah blah. But really, isn't the only impression you're giving people with that outfit the impression that you're really boring? No? Am I being childish about this? Do people really not want to employ senior management executives that wear yellow Disney shirts to the office? Don't you think work would be much more fun if they did?
But I will yield and conform. The final round is next week and I'll be wearing black and grey.
Yawn.
And jet lagged. But never mind, it means I've been able to feel relatively guilt-free about doing nothing but watch season 2 of Mad Men over the past couple of days. I still don't know what I think of Mad Men, actually. It's esthetically pleasing, certainly, but very slow. And yet completely addictive. Like the thousands of cigarettes smoked per episode.
There was a minor storyline in this season that amused me, though. If you don't know the show, it features Elisabeth Moss (a.k.a. Zoey Bartlet) playing Peggy Olson, an advertising "natural" who gets promoted from secretary to copywriter by the lead character, Don Draper, in a rare moment of progressive thinking (which doesn't mean he's going to let his wife wear a bikini - the slut).
But Peggy has a few problems. She's a woman. She's young. She's not terribly attractive. She used to be fat. She lives in Brooklyn. She's a Catholic. But worst of all - she could be a candidate on "What Not To Wear".
Apparently, the reason she isn't getting the respect she deserves comes down solely to the fact that she doesn't Dress The Part. White cotton shirt, long skirt and a ponytail? Shock horror! How is anyone going to take her seriously looking like that? Fortunately for her, she's able to pull out a whole new wardrobe's worth of brown suits, her gay friend cuts her hair to a bob and voilà! She's a business woman!
This got me thinking. I love clothes, I believe in appropriate attire (I'm required to by birth), but I'm also a little bit kooky. Especially when it comes to work clothes. For example, yesterday I walked past Paul & Joe and spotted a yellow Bambi T-shirt in the window and thought "Hey! That would look great with a black trouser suit!" (and no, it's not a fashion term for something else, I do actually mean a yellow T-shirt with a picture of Bambi on it - the Disney character, not Michael Jackson). But seriously, couldn't you just see it?
So the other day, when I had to fly to Switzerland for an interview, it seemed entirely normal for me to lay out the said black suit with a blue, skin-tight, V-neck T-shirt. Until the Montmartoise asked what I was wearing and almost choked on her cupcake when I told her.
Yes, I know, you're supposed to make an impression at an interview. And that includes what you wear. Dark suit. White blouse. Low heels. Not too much make-up. Discreet jewelry. Blah blah blah. But really, isn't the only impression you're giving people with that outfit the impression that you're really boring? No? Am I being childish about this? Do people really not want to employ senior management executives that wear yellow Disney shirts to the office? Don't you think work would be much more fun if they did?
But I will yield and conform. The final round is next week and I'll be wearing black and grey.
Yawn.
Aug 26, 2010
Now what?
The second draft is done, but what happens next? Questions abound from friends, family, loyal blog readers. When can we read it? When does it hit the shelves? Are you writing another one?
God knows I don't have all the answers, but here's the skinny on the little rocky path my novel travels along.
The Dirty Dozen are still reading. So far, I've had one in-depth report (from a high school English teacher, no less) but I'm still waiting for the rest of the feedback. At which point I will hum and hah and ignore most of it because honestly I'm tired of fiddling with this damn story. Then, with care and trepidation, I will put together packets of manuscripts, accompanied by brilliantly drafted cover letters and synopses, and trust the postal services to deliver them to dozens of agents. Obviously, every one of those agents will immediately call me back with publishing offers, movie deals, and marriage proposals and I will become more famous than JK Rowling.
Or not.
So, will you readers get a sneak peak at some point?
I don't know. Maybe if you're very good. We'll see.
In the meantime, I'll be trying to land myself a job that pays actual money that I can spend in real-life supermarkets to feed my ever-expanding waistline (no, I'm not pregnant, just perpetually hungry). Actually, I should be trying to do that right now (my next interview involves preparing a 20-slide presentation... A splendid opportunity to take the old Powerpoint skills out for a spin). But the sun has finally returned to New York and I just came back from a really long run and I have a dinner with friends soon and [insert random excuse here].
God knows I don't have all the answers, but here's the skinny on the little rocky path my novel travels along.
The Dirty Dozen are still reading. So far, I've had one in-depth report (from a high school English teacher, no less) but I'm still waiting for the rest of the feedback. At which point I will hum and hah and ignore most of it because honestly I'm tired of fiddling with this damn story. Then, with care and trepidation, I will put together packets of manuscripts, accompanied by brilliantly drafted cover letters and synopses, and trust the postal services to deliver them to dozens of agents. Obviously, every one of those agents will immediately call me back with publishing offers, movie deals, and marriage proposals and I will become more famous than JK Rowling.
Or not.
So, will you readers get a sneak peak at some point?
I don't know. Maybe if you're very good. We'll see.
In the meantime, I'll be trying to land myself a job that pays actual money that I can spend in real-life supermarkets to feed my ever-expanding waistline (no, I'm not pregnant, just perpetually hungry). Actually, I should be trying to do that right now (my next interview involves preparing a 20-slide presentation... A splendid opportunity to take the old Powerpoint skills out for a spin). But the sun has finally returned to New York and I just came back from a really long run and I have a dinner with friends soon and [insert random excuse here].
Aug 12, 2010
Not-so-neutral feelings about Switzerland
I had a job interview yesterday. In Switzerland. And I don't know what to think.
But let's start from the beginning. First, we'll set the scene. It's been almost a year since I've had a job (I stopped saying I don't "work", as writing a novel surely counts as work - but it's not a job unless someone pays you and actually thinks you're any good.) My finances are so low they're about to win a limbo competition. All my friends, aware of my reputation as shoe expert extraordinaire, drag me shoe shopping and let me roll around the floor in pain while they buy out the store and leave me empty-handed. I've stopped finding time to go to the gym or re-work more than one chapter a day because it interferes with my lounging around and not doing anything. My brain has turned to mush and I can't even remember that my friends have already had their children, while I keep asking for their due dates. Never mind still being able to do things like count or recite the alphabet.
It's time to face the facts. I need to get back into the rat race. If for no other reason than otherwise Res, as you know her, may cease to exist entirely.
So I started looking for a job. Which should have been a piece of cake, or so I thought. Excuse the appalling arrogance of the phrase you're about to read but, well, my CV is pretty damn awesome.
And yet.
It seems that no one in France wants me. And very few people outside of France are interested either. I'm overqualified. I'm not French enough. I'm too American (in that case, does that mean I get a green card?!) I'm too specialized. I'm not specialized enough. They don't want someone who's done consulting. They don't want someone who's been a litigator. They worry I might be too nice. Not nice enough. And definitely vertically challenged.
And then a miracle happened. A woman called. She told me that a certain organization that shall remain nameless (for their sake, mostly!) was looking for someone with dual legal and business skills. That they liked the fact that I had an unusual background. That my patchwork of national influences was perfect.
Oh boy, it felt so good to be loved again. And so I pulled out the black Hugo Boss suit from the back of the closet (miraculously, it still fit, albeit a bit more snug) hurried to the airport (narrowly missing my flight), flew Swiss Air (which apparently has risen from its ashes like the proverbial phoenix) and ended up in a city bordered by mountains (wait - they call that a city? but it has gardens everywhere and is barely the size of one Parisian arrondissement?...) to sit for part two of a three-part interview process.
I liked it. I had fun. My brain got some exercise, the verbal sparring brought me back to my glory days and all of a sudden I felt proud again. Important. Valued.
Which is when all the questions started pouring in. Do I need a job to feel valued? And does that job have to involve long hours and moving to Switzerland? Do I have to quit the dream of being a writer? What if it doesn't make me happy? What if nothing makes me happy? What if I don't have time to finish the book? And am I prepared to leave my brand new apartment that I so lovingly redecorated? And what about the fact that I have no friends in this particular city in Switzerland (a statistical anomaly given my lifestyle and the global reach of the INSEAD network, but there you have it).
Needless to say, I had trouble getting to sleep. It's the morning after, now, and stress levels are high. Fortunately, I have the blog to spill my angst into. And a new motto I can grasp onto, thanks to Andi's discovery and a fun little website. So I'm going to take a deep breath. Put Switzerland on pause. And hit chapter 13.
But let's start from the beginning. First, we'll set the scene. It's been almost a year since I've had a job (I stopped saying I don't "work", as writing a novel surely counts as work - but it's not a job unless someone pays you and actually thinks you're any good.) My finances are so low they're about to win a limbo competition. All my friends, aware of my reputation as shoe expert extraordinaire, drag me shoe shopping and let me roll around the floor in pain while they buy out the store and leave me empty-handed. I've stopped finding time to go to the gym or re-work more than one chapter a day because it interferes with my lounging around and not doing anything. My brain has turned to mush and I can't even remember that my friends have already had their children, while I keep asking for their due dates. Never mind still being able to do things like count or recite the alphabet.
It's time to face the facts. I need to get back into the rat race. If for no other reason than otherwise Res, as you know her, may cease to exist entirely.
So I started looking for a job. Which should have been a piece of cake, or so I thought. Excuse the appalling arrogance of the phrase you're about to read but, well, my CV is pretty damn awesome.
And yet.
It seems that no one in France wants me. And very few people outside of France are interested either. I'm overqualified. I'm not French enough. I'm too American (in that case, does that mean I get a green card?!) I'm too specialized. I'm not specialized enough. They don't want someone who's done consulting. They don't want someone who's been a litigator. They worry I might be too nice. Not nice enough. And definitely vertically challenged.
And then a miracle happened. A woman called. She told me that a certain organization that shall remain nameless (for their sake, mostly!) was looking for someone with dual legal and business skills. That they liked the fact that I had an unusual background. That my patchwork of national influences was perfect.
Oh boy, it felt so good to be loved again. And so I pulled out the black Hugo Boss suit from the back of the closet (miraculously, it still fit, albeit a bit more snug) hurried to the airport (narrowly missing my flight), flew Swiss Air (which apparently has risen from its ashes like the proverbial phoenix) and ended up in a city bordered by mountains (wait - they call that a city? but it has gardens everywhere and is barely the size of one Parisian arrondissement?...) to sit for part two of a three-part interview process.
I liked it. I had fun. My brain got some exercise, the verbal sparring brought me back to my glory days and all of a sudden I felt proud again. Important. Valued.
Which is when all the questions started pouring in. Do I need a job to feel valued? And does that job have to involve long hours and moving to Switzerland? Do I have to quit the dream of being a writer? What if it doesn't make me happy? What if nothing makes me happy? What if I don't have time to finish the book? And am I prepared to leave my brand new apartment that I so lovingly redecorated? And what about the fact that I have no friends in this particular city in Switzerland (a statistical anomaly given my lifestyle and the global reach of the INSEAD network, but there you have it).
Needless to say, I had trouble getting to sleep. It's the morning after, now, and stress levels are high. Fortunately, I have the blog to spill my angst into. And a new motto I can grasp onto, thanks to Andi's discovery and a fun little website. So I'm going to take a deep breath. Put Switzerland on pause. And hit chapter 13.
Jul 15, 2010
Tongue in cheek
Five downsides to being on vacation when an unemployed writer:
1. People say things like: "But aren't you always on vacation?"
2. You spend most of your time searching for jobs, applying for jobs, speaking to recruiters, getting rejected, etc. rather than sitting by the pool.
3. If you are sitting by the pool, you're probably working on your novel and feeling bad about yourself.
4. If you are not working on your job search, or working on your novel, people wonder whether you shouldn't be, and whether perhaps the reason you're unpublished and unemployed is because you spend so much time on vacation.
5. You start counting the days until you can go home and finally relax.
1. People say things like: "But aren't you always on vacation?"
2. You spend most of your time searching for jobs, applying for jobs, speaking to recruiters, getting rejected, etc. rather than sitting by the pool.
3. If you are sitting by the pool, you're probably working on your novel and feeling bad about yourself.
4. If you are not working on your job search, or working on your novel, people wonder whether you shouldn't be, and whether perhaps the reason you're unpublished and unemployed is because you spend so much time on vacation.
5. You start counting the days until you can go home and finally relax.
Jul 13, 2010
Oh Behave!
I'm a slut.
No, not an actual slut, this isn't Belle du Jour the Sequel (and not a peep out of you, oh darling friends of mine!)
I'm a job slut. You know, that thing that unemployed people become once they've been looking for a while.
The shift at first is gradual. Last time you checked you knew what you wanted, you had a list of very specific criteria for your next job: geographical location, salary, type of work, hours, industry, benefits, the colour of the office walls, whether it matches your favourite shoes, etc.
But then you start to stray. Bit by bit. Maybe the salary slips a little. The geography drifts. You didn't mean for it to happen, you had sworn you would be faithful, but somehow. Was there something in the fruit punch? A flirtatious glance that led you astray?
And before you know it you're selling yourself to anything and anyone that will have you. From London to Zurich to the dark back alleys of Bonn (Bonn? really? what were you thinking?), you hike up your CV, show a little leg and tell them whatever they want to hear. Of course you're interested in the widgets this company make (frantic Wikipedia search to figure out what on earth they're talking about); of course you'll accept a pay cut (even below your unemployment benefits? shame on you); of course you've dreamt your whole life about - hold on, which one were you again?
No, not an actual slut, this isn't Belle du Jour the Sequel (and not a peep out of you, oh darling friends of mine!)
I'm a job slut. You know, that thing that unemployed people become once they've been looking for a while.
The shift at first is gradual. Last time you checked you knew what you wanted, you had a list of very specific criteria for your next job: geographical location, salary, type of work, hours, industry, benefits, the colour of the office walls, whether it matches your favourite shoes, etc.
But then you start to stray. Bit by bit. Maybe the salary slips a little. The geography drifts. You didn't mean for it to happen, you had sworn you would be faithful, but somehow. Was there something in the fruit punch? A flirtatious glance that led you astray?
And before you know it you're selling yourself to anything and anyone that will have you. From London to Zurich to the dark back alleys of Bonn (Bonn? really? what were you thinking?), you hike up your CV, show a little leg and tell them whatever they want to hear. Of course you're interested in the widgets this company make (frantic Wikipedia search to figure out what on earth they're talking about); of course you'll accept a pay cut (even below your unemployment benefits? shame on you); of course you've dreamt your whole life about - hold on, which one were you again?
May 17, 2010
So There
Today, I want to rant.
I know I'm supposed to go to bed every night listing five things that I'm over-the-moon happy about (yes, Duchess, I have been paying attention) but sometimes that's just not as fun as ranting.
So tonight, you're going to get ranting.
Here goes.
Rant #1
My knee hurts. Still. By the end of every day, the simple fact of having been in an upright position since morning makes my knee mighty sore. Add to that the pleasures of Parisian metro steps and the two stories of my parents' house, and sore becomes a serious understatement. It's been two months since the half-marathon. Two months without my normal exercise (and today my physio banned pilates for the next couple weeks).
Now, if I don't exercise, I put on weight. And if I put on weight, I get yelled at by the scary, skinny blonde lady at the beauty parlour. This is the real secret of why French women don't get fat, by the way: if they do, they get yelled at. Except what the Flabtator doesn't realize is that my relationship with weight gain and food generally is entirely governed by my German genes, not my French ones. Yup, the Germans won that battle as well...
The fact that I look better in a dirndl than those twiglet Parisiennes is a small consolation...
Rant #2
I'm frightened of my book. It's sitting in my room now (well, I should say my parents' guest room), neatly printed, hole-punched and organized in two old college binders I found lying around. And it's scaring the bejeezus out of me. What if I hate it? What if I can't make it better? What if I realize that I spent the last six months writing a load of hogwash? But what if I never bite the bullet and it never gets done?
It's at moments like this that I start eating cupcakes. Refer back to rant #1.
Rant #3
Tomorrow, I meet with my employment counsellor. She's going to ask me how my job search is going, and I'm going to put on a happy face and tell her it's totally under control, and she's going to be pretty worried nonetheless because the French state pays me a lot of money and it's beginning to dawn on them that they're going to have to continue doing so for some time as I'm completely unsuitable for just about any job they've ever even heard of.
What the heck does an international investor-State arbitration specialist do, anyway? (For the record, the simple answer is: sue countries for a living. And it's not like there's a whole list of job offers out there saying, "Hey, come work for us, we need someone who knows how to sue countries!")
In the past six months, I have found three jobs I'm sort of interested in. The first one (the one I had nightmares about, if you recall), turned me down. The second one is on the fence because I'm not French enough. The third one hasn't gotten back to me.
Fine, whatever. But the thing is, I will have to find a job eventually. And that eventually is coming fast and furious now that the book-writing hoopla is coming to an end.
If you're into pop psychology, you might infer a cause and effect relationship between rants #2 and 3. Just if you're into that sort of thing.
I know I'm supposed to go to bed every night listing five things that I'm over-the-moon happy about (yes, Duchess, I have been paying attention) but sometimes that's just not as fun as ranting.
So tonight, you're going to get ranting.
Here goes.
Rant #1
My knee hurts. Still. By the end of every day, the simple fact of having been in an upright position since morning makes my knee mighty sore. Add to that the pleasures of Parisian metro steps and the two stories of my parents' house, and sore becomes a serious understatement. It's been two months since the half-marathon. Two months without my normal exercise (and today my physio banned pilates for the next couple weeks).
Now, if I don't exercise, I put on weight. And if I put on weight, I get yelled at by the scary, skinny blonde lady at the beauty parlour. This is the real secret of why French women don't get fat, by the way: if they do, they get yelled at. Except what the Flabtator doesn't realize is that my relationship with weight gain and food generally is entirely governed by my German genes, not my French ones. Yup, the Germans won that battle as well...
The fact that I look better in a dirndl than those twiglet Parisiennes is a small consolation...
Rant #2
I'm frightened of my book. It's sitting in my room now (well, I should say my parents' guest room), neatly printed, hole-punched and organized in two old college binders I found lying around. And it's scaring the bejeezus out of me. What if I hate it? What if I can't make it better? What if I realize that I spent the last six months writing a load of hogwash? But what if I never bite the bullet and it never gets done?
It's at moments like this that I start eating cupcakes. Refer back to rant #1.
Rant #3
Tomorrow, I meet with my employment counsellor. She's going to ask me how my job search is going, and I'm going to put on a happy face and tell her it's totally under control, and she's going to be pretty worried nonetheless because the French state pays me a lot of money and it's beginning to dawn on them that they're going to have to continue doing so for some time as I'm completely unsuitable for just about any job they've ever even heard of.
What the heck does an international investor-State arbitration specialist do, anyway? (For the record, the simple answer is: sue countries for a living. And it's not like there's a whole list of job offers out there saying, "Hey, come work for us, we need someone who knows how to sue countries!")
In the past six months, I have found three jobs I'm sort of interested in. The first one (the one I had nightmares about, if you recall), turned me down. The second one is on the fence because I'm not French enough. The third one hasn't gotten back to me.
Fine, whatever. But the thing is, I will have to find a job eventually. And that eventually is coming fast and furious now that the book-writing hoopla is coming to an end.
If you're into pop psychology, you might infer a cause and effect relationship between rants #2 and 3. Just if you're into that sort of thing.
Apr 19, 2009
Pour resumer...
Springtime is all about flowers blossoming, birds chirping, wardrobe replenishing (yes, especially that) and also - CV updating. After much procrastination, I decided that looking for a new job (for whenever the hiring freezes finally melt) would be a lot easier if I had an updated resumé sous le coude. And so a drizzly Sunday afternoon was filled with CV fun, such as finding "action words" to start bullet points with and innovative ways to say "I'm really good at aligning boxes on a powerpoint slide."
I decided to stick with the "skill set" CV most of us adopted at INSEAD, which works particularly well if you've done very different things in your career, and are applying to do yet another completely different thing. Filling in the law firm jobs sections was relatively pain-free (mostly thanks to the fact that I had already gone through the process last year and therefore didn't need to do much other than the odd nip and tuck). But the BM section... now, that was a real brainteaser.
Honestly, it's not that I haven't learned anything at BM, no matter what I might say when I'm on a whinge binge. I've noticed, particularly over the last month or so, that I'm not quite the same person I was when I started. I clearly have developed new reflexes and thought processes that I would have been incapable of a year ago, never mind three years ago when I was still a lawyer through and through. No, the problem isn't that nothing's been learnt; the problem is that "consulting skills" are unbelievably difficult (for me) to explain. I can only seem to define them by what they aren't. You don't learn anything about steel production, or asset management, or luxury distribution, or whatever else you're pontificating about that day. You don't learn how to do anything that, in theory, your clients couldn't do themselves, like defend a billion-dollar lawsuit or repair faulty plumbing. But you do learn something. And it is useful, I think (hope). Maybe it's more like a sixth sense - but I can't really put that down on my CV (skill: I see dead people?!)...
Besides creating my CV (on Excel, I really am becoming a consultant) I spent the rest of the weekend wallowing. I didn't go to the gym, I didn't go out, I didn't clean the apartment. I just stayed in bed, cried my eyes out, and wondered whether all this chest pain was a sign of an impending heart attack. But I'm still standing so I guess it just means that getting your heart broken does actually physically hurt your heart. I'd forgotten. Wallowing may not be either productive or pleasant, but it is one of those things you just need to go through to get it out of your system. My hope is the good old system will be spic and span and entirely rid of all evil residue by the time I go to my friend's wedding in London this weekend and then jet of to New York.
Happiness minus 5 days and counting.
I decided to stick with the "skill set" CV most of us adopted at INSEAD, which works particularly well if you've done very different things in your career, and are applying to do yet another completely different thing. Filling in the law firm jobs sections was relatively pain-free (mostly thanks to the fact that I had already gone through the process last year and therefore didn't need to do much other than the odd nip and tuck). But the BM section... now, that was a real brainteaser.
Honestly, it's not that I haven't learned anything at BM, no matter what I might say when I'm on a whinge binge. I've noticed, particularly over the last month or so, that I'm not quite the same person I was when I started. I clearly have developed new reflexes and thought processes that I would have been incapable of a year ago, never mind three years ago when I was still a lawyer through and through. No, the problem isn't that nothing's been learnt; the problem is that "consulting skills" are unbelievably difficult (for me) to explain. I can only seem to define them by what they aren't. You don't learn anything about steel production, or asset management, or luxury distribution, or whatever else you're pontificating about that day. You don't learn how to do anything that, in theory, your clients couldn't do themselves, like defend a billion-dollar lawsuit or repair faulty plumbing. But you do learn something. And it is useful, I think (hope). Maybe it's more like a sixth sense - but I can't really put that down on my CV (skill: I see dead people?!)...
Besides creating my CV (on Excel, I really am becoming a consultant) I spent the rest of the weekend wallowing. I didn't go to the gym, I didn't go out, I didn't clean the apartment. I just stayed in bed, cried my eyes out, and wondered whether all this chest pain was a sign of an impending heart attack. But I'm still standing so I guess it just means that getting your heart broken does actually physically hurt your heart. I'd forgotten. Wallowing may not be either productive or pleasant, but it is one of those things you just need to go through to get it out of your system. My hope is the good old system will be spic and span and entirely rid of all evil residue by the time I go to my friend's wedding in London this weekend and then jet of to New York.
Happiness minus 5 days and counting.
Jun 11, 2008
Losing One's Spots and Other News
My map has lost its spots. Apparently, these things need to be archived once in a while and I have no choice in the matter. After having seen my little spots multiply and grow over the past year, this is quite upsetting. But, as with my INSEAD experience, I suppose change must happen, all good things come to and end, it's time to move forward and [insert other favourite cliché here...]
In other news (and because I haven't been very good at updating you all on my life recently):
- I finally accepted a job last week. It's in consulting. Gasp. For those of you that have actually stuck by me and been reading this blog for a while, you will remember that I argued on multiple occasions that consulting was not the right path for me, that I wouldn't get sucked in to the machine, that staying closer to my original field was a much better option, and that I would never get a consulting offer anyway. To you, I now say: "Oops." Let me explain. One, only idiots never change their mind (right?) Two, I found it impossible to find an interesting legal job that didn't involve going back to do exactly what I was doing before (which really was not the point). Three, peer pressure works.
In any event, taking this job means I get to stay in Paris for a while (but still travel - thus enabling me to satisfy my permanently antsy nature and visit various INSEAD and pre-INSEAD friends). It also means I actually get to apply some of the things I learnt at INSEAD in the real world, and possibly also finally figure out how Excel works without having to call on my mathematician friends. Plus, I received several assurances that I could still transition back to law later on, in a more exciting role. So, all in all, a good choice, at least for now.
Oh, and if you want to know which consulting firm was crazy enough to hire me, I won't tell you. Wouldn't want to ruin their brand image.
- The Montmelian Ball was amazing. More than amazing. The best party of this year at INSEAD according to many surveyed (well, a couple people at least). Surreal in the extreme, it also hit home the fact that this is all almost over, which put me in a bit of a funk the next day (not helped by the hangover and lack of sleep).
- Classes (to the extent we still have a few) end in two weeks, and then we're off to Turkey for the graduation trip until the actual graduation ceremony takes place before an assembly of jet-lagged relatives, bored staff and slightly shell-shocked students. To be honest, I oscillate between denial, anticipation, and heartache at the moment. There will never be another year like this one, where everything is extreme and intense, as well as short-lived. Who will I see next year? Who will still be my friends 5 years down the road? How much of what I have learned will I still remember come September? How will I handle living with less than a dozen people and not having 3 costume parties to go to per week? Am I still able to get up early, put a suit on, and concentrate on more-or-less mundane tasks for an entire day without taking a break at the bar to gossip and sample Peruvian pisco, Chinese dumplings, Desi dancing or Italian fashion?
- Speaking of classes, I should perhaps mention the electives I am taking this period: Global Strategy & Management (an excellent mini, really should be a full course), Environmental Management (ugh), Brand Management (lots of fun but clearly I should never be allowed into marketing), and Dynamic Pricing & Revenue Management (thank god for the mathematicians in my group). Not quite up to the amazing standards of the P4 electives, they're on the whole pretty interesting classes. Now if only I could still muster up the energy to do some work...
- Plans. I have some. Including non-career-related and therefore much more exciting vacation plans for the summer. July will find me in California, combining a long-awaited mini-road trip with visits to close friends. Then in August there's a wedding and a couple weeks in the South of France (where hopefully I will be able to meet up with a few INSEADers for the first of what will hopefully be many reunions). The big question is: what should I do with my blog when school ends? I've had so much fun writing it, I think I'd miss it if it disappeared. On the other hand, it won't have much to do with INSEAD anymore. Perhaps I could follow in the footsteps of "Anonymous Lawyer" and become "Anonymous Consultant"?
In other news (and because I haven't been very good at updating you all on my life recently):
- I finally accepted a job last week. It's in consulting. Gasp. For those of you that have actually stuck by me and been reading this blog for a while, you will remember that I argued on multiple occasions that consulting was not the right path for me, that I wouldn't get sucked in to the machine, that staying closer to my original field was a much better option, and that I would never get a consulting offer anyway. To you, I now say: "Oops." Let me explain. One, only idiots never change their mind (right?) Two, I found it impossible to find an interesting legal job that didn't involve going back to do exactly what I was doing before (which really was not the point). Three, peer pressure works.
In any event, taking this job means I get to stay in Paris for a while (but still travel - thus enabling me to satisfy my permanently antsy nature and visit various INSEAD and pre-INSEAD friends). It also means I actually get to apply some of the things I learnt at INSEAD in the real world, and possibly also finally figure out how Excel works without having to call on my mathematician friends. Plus, I received several assurances that I could still transition back to law later on, in a more exciting role. So, all in all, a good choice, at least for now.
Oh, and if you want to know which consulting firm was crazy enough to hire me, I won't tell you. Wouldn't want to ruin their brand image.
- The Montmelian Ball was amazing. More than amazing. The best party of this year at INSEAD according to many surveyed (well, a couple people at least). Surreal in the extreme, it also hit home the fact that this is all almost over, which put me in a bit of a funk the next day (not helped by the hangover and lack of sleep).
- Classes (to the extent we still have a few) end in two weeks, and then we're off to Turkey for the graduation trip until the actual graduation ceremony takes place before an assembly of jet-lagged relatives, bored staff and slightly shell-shocked students. To be honest, I oscillate between denial, anticipation, and heartache at the moment. There will never be another year like this one, where everything is extreme and intense, as well as short-lived. Who will I see next year? Who will still be my friends 5 years down the road? How much of what I have learned will I still remember come September? How will I handle living with less than a dozen people and not having 3 costume parties to go to per week? Am I still able to get up early, put a suit on, and concentrate on more-or-less mundane tasks for an entire day without taking a break at the bar to gossip and sample Peruvian pisco, Chinese dumplings, Desi dancing or Italian fashion?
- Speaking of classes, I should perhaps mention the electives I am taking this period: Global Strategy & Management (an excellent mini, really should be a full course), Environmental Management (ugh), Brand Management (lots of fun but clearly I should never be allowed into marketing), and Dynamic Pricing & Revenue Management (thank god for the mathematicians in my group). Not quite up to the amazing standards of the P4 electives, they're on the whole pretty interesting classes. Now if only I could still muster up the energy to do some work...
- Plans. I have some. Including non-career-related and therefore much more exciting vacation plans for the summer. July will find me in California, combining a long-awaited mini-road trip with visits to close friends. Then in August there's a wedding and a couple weeks in the South of France (where hopefully I will be able to meet up with a few INSEADers for the first of what will hopefully be many reunions). The big question is: what should I do with my blog when school ends? I've had so much fun writing it, I think I'd miss it if it disappeared. On the other hand, it won't have much to do with INSEAD anymore. Perhaps I could follow in the footsteps of "Anonymous Lawyer" and become "Anonymous Consultant"?
May 19, 2008
P is for Procrastination
For those (sadly too few) of us for whom recruitment season is over, P5 is a very different beast from what we've experienced over the past 8 months. A glorious mix of sunshine, parties, travelling and the occasional class, P5 is definitely not conducive to getting anything done. And I don't just mean case readings and project write-ups, but also car repairs, exercise, grocery shopping, finding shoes to match my ball gown, blog writing, etc... Thus proving the theory that the more free time you have, the less productive you become. At least the tan is coming along pretty well, and my liver's getting a good workout.
So, I imagine you're wondering what exactly I have been up to in the past three (four?) weeks since my last posting. Well, I've had a few interviews (leading to several more dings and a couple more job offers), I've experienced the madness of Queen's Day in Amsterdam, I've almost died when one of my front tires blew out on the A6 to Paris, and most recently I've enjoyed being maid-of-honour/Paris-tour-guide at my friend's wedding, complete with a very emotional ceremony, fabulous food, some nervous speech-giving by yours truly, staring at a TV-celebrity, being incredibly silly at the "Kid's Table" and showing off sunrise at Notre Dame to bleary-eyed Americans (photographic evidence below).
And yes, I have actually made it to a few classes as well, and continue to run from meeting to meeting to "help" me decide which job offer to accept.
All-in-all, a not-too-shabby start to P5!
So, I imagine you're wondering what exactly I have been up to in the past three (four?) weeks since my last posting. Well, I've had a few interviews (leading to several more dings and a couple more job offers), I've experienced the madness of Queen's Day in Amsterdam, I've almost died when one of my front tires blew out on the A6 to Paris, and most recently I've enjoyed being maid-of-honour/Paris-tour-guide at my friend's wedding, complete with a very emotional ceremony, fabulous food, some nervous speech-giving by yours truly, staring at a TV-celebrity, being incredibly silly at the "Kid's Table" and showing off sunrise at Notre Dame to bleary-eyed Americans (photographic evidence below).
And yes, I have actually made it to a few classes as well, and continue to run from meeting to meeting to "help" me decide which job offer to accept.
All-in-all, a not-too-shabby start to P5!
Apr 26, 2008
What we need now is a Statistician
Those of you who have had the privilege of sitting in P1 UDJ will recognize the post title from that cinematic wonder of wonders... "The Statistician". Ah, memory lane. Or, more appropriately given the break-neck speed of everything that is INSEAD, memory 6-lane highway.
Now that P4 is over, and we're on our last break before the final stretch, it has come time for reminiscence, reflection and taking stock. So here are a few stats from my year so far at INSEAD.
Total number of courses taken (including upcoming P5): 25
Approximate number of hours spent in classroom: 352
Total number of companies applied to/contacted for jobs: close to 20
Total number of companies that agreed to interview me (including upcoming): 6
Offers received so far: 1 (phew!)
Places travelled to for fun with other INSEAD-ers (including already-scheduled upcoming trips): Champagne, Marrakech, Italy, Switzerland, Barcelona (twice), Amsterdam, Marseille
Places travelled to for much less fun interviews (including upcoming): Cardiff, Paris (I'm in Fontainebleau, Paris counts), Amsterdam, Baden (in the middle of nowhere in Switzerland)
Outfits worn to INSEAD parties: toga, schoolgirl, Tarantino movie character, "greed", favourite movie character, hooker, eighties, others that I have chosen to forget...
Number of cigarettes smoked: too many
Units of alcohol ingested: way too many
Number of times I've complained about INSEAD when really I was having a blast and should have counted my lucky stars: no comment.
So now there's two months to go. Two months with a few more interviews, a very light class load (in theory!), a very close friend's wedding, lots of weekend trips and many, many parties. Before we all end up crying on each others' shoulders, making plans for the next reunion, swearing eternal devotion and saying with a sob that yes, this was the best year of our lives.
But enough of this maudlin sentimentality, there's still a whole P to gear up for and first up, a week's worth of interviews and celebrating royalty in Amsterdam!
Now that P4 is over, and we're on our last break before the final stretch, it has come time for reminiscence, reflection and taking stock. So here are a few stats from my year so far at INSEAD.
Total number of courses taken (including upcoming P5): 25
Approximate number of hours spent in classroom: 352
Total number of companies applied to/contacted for jobs: close to 20
Total number of companies that agreed to interview me (including upcoming): 6
Offers received so far: 1 (phew!)
Places travelled to for fun with other INSEAD-ers (including already-scheduled upcoming trips): Champagne, Marrakech, Italy, Switzerland, Barcelona (twice), Amsterdam, Marseille
Places travelled to for much less fun interviews (including upcoming): Cardiff, Paris (I'm in Fontainebleau, Paris counts), Amsterdam, Baden (in the middle of nowhere in Switzerland)
Outfits worn to INSEAD parties: toga, schoolgirl, Tarantino movie character, "greed", favourite movie character, hooker, eighties, others that I have chosen to forget...
Number of cigarettes smoked: too many
Units of alcohol ingested: way too many
Number of times I've complained about INSEAD when really I was having a blast and should have counted my lucky stars: no comment.
So now there's two months to go. Two months with a few more interviews, a very light class load (in theory!), a very close friend's wedding, lots of weekend trips and many, many parties. Before we all end up crying on each others' shoulders, making plans for the next reunion, swearing eternal devotion and saying with a sob that yes, this was the best year of our lives.
But enough of this maudlin sentimentality, there's still a whole P to gear up for and first up, a week's worth of interviews and celebrating royalty in Amsterdam!
Apr 15, 2008
Deep Breath...
It's easy to get overwhelmed in all this madness. First, there are the scheduling issues, with interviews back to back and classes geting squeezed in somewhere in the middle, if at all. Then there's the even greater challenge of keeping focused on what you want and maintaining some sort of self-esteem and confidence when faced with mounting rejection and disparaging looks from people who believe the inability to calculate 23% of 2472 off the top of the head in less than 20 seconds amounts to some kind of mental disability.
Given all that, and to help you overcome the demise of DTLF's musical interludes, here are some lyrics from my favourite, irreverant, muppet-inspired musical: Avenue Q.
Why does everything have to be so hard?
- Maybe you'll never find your purpose. Lots of people don't.
But then, I don't know why I'm even alive!
- Well, who does, really?
Everyone's a little bit unsatisfied
Everyone goes 'round a little empty inside
Take a breath, look around
Swallow your pride
For now...
Nothing lasts, life goes on, full of surprises
You'll be faced with problems of all shapes and sizes
You're going to have to make
A few compromises
For now...
But only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
For now we're healthy
For now we're employed
For now we're happy
If not overjoyed
And we'll accept the things
We cannot avoid
For now...
But only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now!
For now there's life
Only for now!
For now there's love
Only for now!
For now there's work
For now there's happiness
But only for now!
For now discomfort
Only for now!
For now there's friendship!
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now
Sex!
Is only for now
Your hair!
Is only for now
George Bush!
Is only for now
Don't stress,
Relax,
Let life roll off your backs
Except for death and paying taxes
Everything in life
Is only for now
Each time you smile (Only for now)
It'll only last a while (Only for now)
Life may be scary (Only for now)
But it's only temporary
ba-dum, ba-dum...
Everything in life is only for now...
- Avenue Q
Given all that, and to help you overcome the demise of DTLF's musical interludes, here are some lyrics from my favourite, irreverant, muppet-inspired musical: Avenue Q.
Why does everything have to be so hard?
- Maybe you'll never find your purpose. Lots of people don't.
But then, I don't know why I'm even alive!
- Well, who does, really?
Everyone's a little bit unsatisfied
Everyone goes 'round a little empty inside
Take a breath, look around
Swallow your pride
For now...
Nothing lasts, life goes on, full of surprises
You'll be faced with problems of all shapes and sizes
You're going to have to make
A few compromises
For now...
But only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
For now we're healthy
For now we're employed
For now we're happy
If not overjoyed
And we'll accept the things
We cannot avoid
For now...
But only for now! (For now)
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now!
For now there's life
Only for now!
For now there's love
Only for now!
For now there's work
For now there's happiness
But only for now!
For now discomfort
Only for now!
For now there's friendship!
Only for now! (For now)
Only for now
Sex!
Is only for now
Your hair!
Is only for now
George Bush!
Is only for now
Don't stress,
Relax,
Let life roll off your backs
Except for death and paying taxes
Everything in life
Is only for now
Each time you smile (Only for now)
It'll only last a while (Only for now)
Life may be scary (Only for now)
But it's only temporary
ba-dum, ba-dum...
Everything in life is only for now...
- Avenue Q
Apr 12, 2008
Picture Time
I realize it's been a while since I've provided photographic evidence (embarrassing or otherwise) of my time here at INSEAD, so I have come online today determined to right that wrong. Also, I haven't been feeling verbally prolific and it's about time for another post so... this is my lazy response to public demand.
First up, the lovely home I've made for myself in P4:
And the view from my window when I woke up on Monday and realized it had snowed properly for the first time this year. In April.
And then there are the photos from Barcelona, with the outrageous-and-still-undefeated INSEAD boys and girls rugby teams... spicing things up on the pitch and in Barcelona's finest culinary establishments.
In other news, recruitment season carries on, painfully for most of us. The eager anticipation has given way to interview and ding fatigue, and it is now with sad, resigned faces that we go off to meet our executioners - uh, I mean interviewers.
In answer to a question posted on these pages last week, no, the recruitment situation is not THAT bad. But it's not that good, either. Given the events of these past few months, banks are essentially not hiring, which means a lot of dashed hopes and increased competition for the remaining jobs. Consulting firms are out in force, but the offers have been few and far between so far. That being said, the "top 3" are still interviewing so we'll see what happens there.
In terms of industry jobs (i.e. everything that's not banking or consulting), we're not quite sure what the situation is. The big multinationals come present on campus, but in a few cases they seem to have very much limited their hiring (internships only, certain geographical areas only) as compared to previous years. The process is more opaque in this area than for consulting, so really it's hard to say whether finding a job in industry has become more difficult. So we keep our fingers crossed.
In my own little personal journey, I finally experienced the pain and suffering that is the consulting interview. Needless to say, it did not go well, which tends to confirm my impression that other avenues are probably better suited to me. The silver lining, however, is that I finally feel like I'm "part of the gang", having now also been subjected to mindless calculation exercises and out-of-left-field questions about industries I know nothing about, coupled with the "oh-my-gosh-have-you-ever-even-practiced-case-interviews" look of disbelief from the hardened interviewer (the answer to that is yes, by the way) and the ensuing feeling of confusion and despair when you walk out of a gruelling 1.5 hr session feeling like you did in 2nd grade when the teacher called on you and you didn't know the answer and everyone laughed.
Fortunately, there are friends, crepes, and plenty of bottles of cider to go around and make you feel better afterwards. And then there's always next week, with more interviews (including at least one that will not involve calculating percentages while standing on your head and solving a rubix cube).
First up, the lovely home I've made for myself in P4:
And the view from my window when I woke up on Monday and realized it had snowed properly for the first time this year. In April.
And then there are the photos from Barcelona, with the outrageous-and-still-undefeated INSEAD boys and girls rugby teams... spicing things up on the pitch and in Barcelona's finest culinary establishments.
In other news, recruitment season carries on, painfully for most of us. The eager anticipation has given way to interview and ding fatigue, and it is now with sad, resigned faces that we go off to meet our executioners - uh, I mean interviewers.
In answer to a question posted on these pages last week, no, the recruitment situation is not THAT bad. But it's not that good, either. Given the events of these past few months, banks are essentially not hiring, which means a lot of dashed hopes and increased competition for the remaining jobs. Consulting firms are out in force, but the offers have been few and far between so far. That being said, the "top 3" are still interviewing so we'll see what happens there.
In terms of industry jobs (i.e. everything that's not banking or consulting), we're not quite sure what the situation is. The big multinationals come present on campus, but in a few cases they seem to have very much limited their hiring (internships only, certain geographical areas only) as compared to previous years. The process is more opaque in this area than for consulting, so really it's hard to say whether finding a job in industry has become more difficult. So we keep our fingers crossed.
In my own little personal journey, I finally experienced the pain and suffering that is the consulting interview. Needless to say, it did not go well, which tends to confirm my impression that other avenues are probably better suited to me. The silver lining, however, is that I finally feel like I'm "part of the gang", having now also been subjected to mindless calculation exercises and out-of-left-field questions about industries I know nothing about, coupled with the "oh-my-gosh-have-you-ever-even-practiced-case-interviews" look of disbelief from the hardened interviewer (the answer to that is yes, by the way) and the ensuing feeling of confusion and despair when you walk out of a gruelling 1.5 hr session feeling like you did in 2nd grade when the teacher called on you and you didn't know the answer and everyone laughed.
Fortunately, there are friends, crepes, and plenty of bottles of cider to go around and make you feel better afterwards. And then there's always next week, with more interviews (including at least one that will not involve calculating percentages while standing on your head and solving a rubix cube).
Apr 2, 2008
Fling a Ding Ding
Ah, the highs and lows of the INSEAD life...
Last weekend about 200 of us found ourselves in Barcelona for the annual "Spring Fling", an MBA sports tournament organised by IESE. It was interesting comparing the INSEAD contingent to the other schools; sure, I'm biased, but I did get the definite impression that we were a) more diverse and b) more relaxed (many of us had never played our chosen sport before, but more than made up for it in team spirit and a sense of fun). We were also much more ready to party the night away (though we paid for it on the trip home!) In fact, the whole weekend felt very much like a gigantic INSEAD party that the other schools had the privilege to attend - and most of them didn't. Perhaps we're a little intimidating. All in all, a very good weekend was had by everyone involved, despite a few (mostly rugby-related) injuries.
And then we get back to P4. The age of dings. I won't explain here what a ding is, I think every other blogger has already done so. Needless to say it has resulted in more than a few long faces around campus as company after company reject INSEAD students who, until now, had been told that they were fabulous and the elite of global business community. I was lucky enough to get a ding to call my own yesterday, having missed out on the fun until now due to my not having actually applied to anything (my network-oriented job search is not so much ding-based as you'll-just-never-hear-from-us-again-based). Apparently, "the criteria that [Ding & Co] have put forward do not really correspond to [my] competencies". Ouch.
My friends and fellow comrades-in-arms, I leave you with these words by Arthur Conan Doyle:
"When such men, who are beyond hope and fear, begin in their dim minds to see the source of their woes, it may be an evil time for those who have wronged them. The weak man becomes strong when he has nothing, for then only can he feel the wild, mad thrill of despair."
Last weekend about 200 of us found ourselves in Barcelona for the annual "Spring Fling", an MBA sports tournament organised by IESE. It was interesting comparing the INSEAD contingent to the other schools; sure, I'm biased, but I did get the definite impression that we were a) more diverse and b) more relaxed (many of us had never played our chosen sport before, but more than made up for it in team spirit and a sense of fun). We were also much more ready to party the night away (though we paid for it on the trip home!) In fact, the whole weekend felt very much like a gigantic INSEAD party that the other schools had the privilege to attend - and most of them didn't. Perhaps we're a little intimidating. All in all, a very good weekend was had by everyone involved, despite a few (mostly rugby-related) injuries.
And then we get back to P4. The age of dings. I won't explain here what a ding is, I think every other blogger has already done so. Needless to say it has resulted in more than a few long faces around campus as company after company reject INSEAD students who, until now, had been told that they were fabulous and the elite of global business community. I was lucky enough to get a ding to call my own yesterday, having missed out on the fun until now due to my not having actually applied to anything (my network-oriented job search is not so much ding-based as you'll-just-never-hear-from-us-again-based). Apparently, "the criteria that [Ding & Co] have put forward do not really correspond to [my] competencies". Ouch.
My friends and fellow comrades-in-arms, I leave you with these words by Arthur Conan Doyle:
"When such men, who are beyond hope and fear, begin in their dim minds to see the source of their woes, it may be an evil time for those who have wronged them. The weak man becomes strong when he has nothing, for then only can he feel the wild, mad thrill of despair."
Mar 19, 2008
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I've heard complaints that I am not posting enough. Honestly, I feel I haven't been doing that badly compared to some of my classmates, but point taken.
So here's a little snapshot of this week's impressions. Obviously, this post will be about job hunting, as P4 seems to leave little time to think about anything else. It's a shame, really, considering how interesting our classes are this period, that the only thing on our collective minds is comparing company presentations, perfecting interview techniques, and wondering how to wax poetic in cover letters for jobs we're not even sure we want. And yours truly is no exception.
I have decided to take a slightly different road from that of most of my classmates, however, and pursue jobs in a field not traditionally sought after post-MBA. This, of course, creates additional difficulty and stress in some ways, as career services is unlikely to be much help and most recruiters I approach give me that "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" look. I get the same look from my classmates, by the way, who mostly seem baffled that someone may not actually end up in consulting.
On the other hand, my story makes sense to me. More sense than a story I would have to tell consultants or marketing directors. And that simplifies things a great deal. It's much easier to sell a story you believe in. The trick is finding someone to sell the story to. And on that front I've found the INSEAD network and even on-campus-recruiting events to be extremely helpful. I know this has not been the case for some other "non-traditional" job seekers among my friends, so maybe I've been lucky, but alumni contacts and a couple pushy requests to get recruiters to put me in touch with the relevant people have so far met with success. Which means I already have interviews of the non-consulting sort to look forward to, as early as tomorrow! Fingers crossed.
Not wanting to be outdone by DTLF, here are some song lyrics of my own that seem particularly fitting in these times of P4 madness, soul-searching and soul-selling:
Could you let down your hair
And be transparent for a while
Just a little while
To see if you're human after all
Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like
We've got it all figured out
Well let me be the first to say that I
Don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
Ain't gonna pretend like I do
Just trying - to find my way
Trying - to find my way
The best that I know how
Well I haven't memorized
All of the cute things to say
But I'm working on it
Maybe I'll master this art form some day
If I quote all the lines
Off the top of my head
Will you believe
That I fully understand all these things I've read
I'm just trying - to find my way
Trying - to find my way
Trying - to find my way
The best that I know how
Well I
Haven't got it all figured out quite yet but
Even if it takes my whole life
To get to where I need to be
And if I should fall
To the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you and
Trying - to find my way
Trying - to find my way
Oh I'm trying - to find my way
Trying - to find my way
So here's a little snapshot of this week's impressions. Obviously, this post will be about job hunting, as P4 seems to leave little time to think about anything else. It's a shame, really, considering how interesting our classes are this period, that the only thing on our collective minds is comparing company presentations, perfecting interview techniques, and wondering how to wax poetic in cover letters for jobs we're not even sure we want. And yours truly is no exception.
I have decided to take a slightly different road from that of most of my classmates, however, and pursue jobs in a field not traditionally sought after post-MBA. This, of course, creates additional difficulty and stress in some ways, as career services is unlikely to be much help and most recruiters I approach give me that "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" look. I get the same look from my classmates, by the way, who mostly seem baffled that someone may not actually end up in consulting.
On the other hand, my story makes sense to me. More sense than a story I would have to tell consultants or marketing directors. And that simplifies things a great deal. It's much easier to sell a story you believe in. The trick is finding someone to sell the story to. And on that front I've found the INSEAD network and even on-campus-recruiting events to be extremely helpful. I know this has not been the case for some other "non-traditional" job seekers among my friends, so maybe I've been lucky, but alumni contacts and a couple pushy requests to get recruiters to put me in touch with the relevant people have so far met with success. Which means I already have interviews of the non-consulting sort to look forward to, as early as tomorrow! Fingers crossed.
Not wanting to be outdone by DTLF, here are some song lyrics of my own that seem particularly fitting in these times of P4 madness, soul-searching and soul-selling:
Could you let down your hair
And be transparent for a while
Just a little while
To see if you're human after all
Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like
We've got it all figured out
Well let me be the first to say that I
Don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
Ain't gonna pretend like I do
Just trying - to find my way
Trying - to find my way
The best that I know how
Well I haven't memorized
All of the cute things to say
But I'm working on it
Maybe I'll master this art form some day
If I quote all the lines
Off the top of my head
Will you believe
That I fully understand all these things I've read
I'm just trying - to find my way
Trying - to find my way
Trying - to find my way
The best that I know how
Well I
Haven't got it all figured out quite yet but
Even if it takes my whole life
To get to where I need to be
And if I should fall
To the bottom of the end
I'll be one step back to you and
Trying - to find my way
Trying - to find my way
Oh I'm trying - to find my way
Trying - to find my way
- "Trying" - Lifehouse
Mar 16, 2008
Finding Your Way Home
I've said it before and I haven't been the only one: INSEAD is a real roller-coaster ride of emotions. With so many new people to get to know, new concepts to grasp, new opportunities to explore, it's easy to get overwhelmed. It's also easy to lose yourself. Sometimes it's necessary to stake a step back, breathe deeply and re-evaluate. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Just because radical change is possible doesn't mean radical change is the best thing for you. Sometimes incremental steps, while holding on to who you are, is the way to move forward.
Oh dear, that all sounds so deep and meaningful. Apologies.
Back to the fun stuff. I'm in a new house this period, a nice little chateau of my own, and I'm loving it. I'm surrounded by friends (who are all mutually stressing and helping each other out in this "winner takes all" period), trees, and a variety of wild animals. Life couldn't be better. Classes are also really interesting this period, and I wish I had some more time to spend on them. As mentioned by fellow blogger DTLF, the Psychological Issues in Management class is particularly... mmm... original. Love him or hate him, Bartolome is definitely a professor with a difference, and the content of the course is satisfyingly thought-provoking.
It's a rainy Sunday evening, and there's an eerie calm around the house - with a strong undercurrent of tension as we all rush to complete job applications. I'm thinking it's about time for a nice shared dinner and a movie, though, to top off the weekend before we're back in suits for yet more career networking starting tomorrow.
Oh dear, that all sounds so deep and meaningful. Apologies.
Back to the fun stuff. I'm in a new house this period, a nice little chateau of my own, and I'm loving it. I'm surrounded by friends (who are all mutually stressing and helping each other out in this "winner takes all" period), trees, and a variety of wild animals. Life couldn't be better. Classes are also really interesting this period, and I wish I had some more time to spend on them. As mentioned by fellow blogger DTLF, the Psychological Issues in Management class is particularly... mmm... original. Love him or hate him, Bartolome is definitely a professor with a difference, and the content of the course is satisfyingly thought-provoking.
It's a rainy Sunday evening, and there's an eerie calm around the house - with a strong undercurrent of tension as we all rush to complete job applications. I'm thinking it's about time for a nice shared dinner and a movie, though, to top off the weekend before we're back in suits for yet more career networking starting tomorrow.
Mar 5, 2008
To Everything There Is A Season...
... And now is the season for recruitment. It is finally here, the reason we all did this MBA in the first place, the nerve-racking, nail-biting, ding-dreading countdown is upon us. Of course (and I'm not the only one), I have no clear idea of what I should be applying for, never mind what I actually would want to get. I have not started writing motivation letters. I'm already bored of company presentations and mindless networking chats. In fact, I'm in half a mind to throw in the towel and go work as a short-order cook on a beach in Jamaica.
But hey, despite all that, I'm feeling surprisingly chipper.
First, because it turns out I won't have to write a eulogy for DTLF after all. After a worrying absence, my dear blogging lyricist appears to be back online. Which means I have something to read again other than HBS cases.
Second, after a rather trying P3, a lovely break in snowy sunny Switzerland has restored my happiness meter back to a healthy level. Nothing like outdoor exercise, glühwein and good friends to catch that silver lining again.
Third, I'm pretty excited about my P4 courses. I will be taking Negotiations Strategy (first class today was fun, despite being lied to by my counter-party; not an ethics class, clearly), Industry & Competitive Analysis, Psychological Issues in Management, Political Risk Assessment & Management and Advanced Game Theory.
Which reminds me: I owe you all a recap of P3 courses. So here's my best effort (it's funny how a week's break seems to wipe the mind clean):
Macroeconomics (Loic Sadoulet): Yet another controversial offering, with some people loving this class and others... not so much. I personally liked it, even though it took a while for things to click. Perhaps a bit more quantitative backing would have been good, but overall a useful, instructive course.
International Political Analysis (Douglas Weber): A bit of a disappointment, this one. It was one of the courses I was most looking forward to (having long hesitated whether to go into Poli-Sci back in my previous life) but unfortunately the prof struggled to make this class relevant to business students. The most interesting part of the course was the student-led presentations, made particularly engaging by the international diversity at INSEAD.
Corporate Entrepreneurship (Michelle Rogan): A good subject to have on the menu, this class focused on how to ensure you had the right entrepreneurial culture within a large company to maximize growth. The workload was disproportionately high compared to the actual substance, though, and by the end of the 16 sessions we were all experiencing CE-fatigue. Perhaps this would have done better as a mini-class.
Strategies for Product & Service Development (Jürgen Mihm): A really fun class, taught by a passionate professor. The project for this class (generating an idea for and prototyping a new product/service) is a great exercise, and has you using skills and neurons not usually called upon in other INSEAD classes.
Market Driving Strategies (Markus Christen): By far my favourite class at INSEAD so far. Markus is an amazing professor and also an amazing guy (big thanks goes out to him for helping us on our final L'Oreal project). The Markstrat game is intense, frustrating but ultimately lots of fun, and the lectures are also very instructive. This class reconciled a lot of people with marketing.
So, that's all from me for tonight, it's time to go drink and socialize with my new housemates (in my new house; more on that later). I will do my very best to post a bit more often this period, in between applications, interviews, classes and doubtless countless parties. It's a hard life, my friends, but someone has to do it.
But hey, despite all that, I'm feeling surprisingly chipper.
First, because it turns out I won't have to write a eulogy for DTLF after all. After a worrying absence, my dear blogging lyricist appears to be back online. Which means I have something to read again other than HBS cases.
Second, after a rather trying P3, a lovely break in snowy sunny Switzerland has restored my happiness meter back to a healthy level. Nothing like outdoor exercise, glühwein and good friends to catch that silver lining again.
Third, I'm pretty excited about my P4 courses. I will be taking Negotiations Strategy (first class today was fun, despite being lied to by my counter-party; not an ethics class, clearly), Industry & Competitive Analysis, Psychological Issues in Management, Political Risk Assessment & Management and Advanced Game Theory.
Which reminds me: I owe you all a recap of P3 courses. So here's my best effort (it's funny how a week's break seems to wipe the mind clean):
Macroeconomics (Loic Sadoulet): Yet another controversial offering, with some people loving this class and others... not so much. I personally liked it, even though it took a while for things to click. Perhaps a bit more quantitative backing would have been good, but overall a useful, instructive course.
International Political Analysis (Douglas Weber): A bit of a disappointment, this one. It was one of the courses I was most looking forward to (having long hesitated whether to go into Poli-Sci back in my previous life) but unfortunately the prof struggled to make this class relevant to business students. The most interesting part of the course was the student-led presentations, made particularly engaging by the international diversity at INSEAD.
Corporate Entrepreneurship (Michelle Rogan): A good subject to have on the menu, this class focused on how to ensure you had the right entrepreneurial culture within a large company to maximize growth. The workload was disproportionately high compared to the actual substance, though, and by the end of the 16 sessions we were all experiencing CE-fatigue. Perhaps this would have done better as a mini-class.
Strategies for Product & Service Development (Jürgen Mihm): A really fun class, taught by a passionate professor. The project for this class (generating an idea for and prototyping a new product/service) is a great exercise, and has you using skills and neurons not usually called upon in other INSEAD classes.
Market Driving Strategies (Markus Christen): By far my favourite class at INSEAD so far. Markus is an amazing professor and also an amazing guy (big thanks goes out to him for helping us on our final L'Oreal project). The Markstrat game is intense, frustrating but ultimately lots of fun, and the lectures are also very instructive. This class reconciled a lot of people with marketing.
So, that's all from me for tonight, it's time to go drink and socialize with my new housemates (in my new house; more on that later). I will do my very best to post a bit more often this period, in between applications, interviews, classes and doubtless countless parties. It's a hard life, my friends, but someone has to do it.
Jan 27, 2008
Reality Check
My sincerest apologies to those readers who have stuck with me despite not having given proof of life for a month. Part of the reason is that for a substantial portion of this new term, life is something I have been barely clinging onto (damn INSEAD diseases...) But now I feel I may have a window of opportunity before the next round of flu hits to give you an update.
P3. Hard work. I know we say this every period, but it's true (when do the "easy" periods start?!) The focus is very different, though, now that most of our schedule is taken up by electives. Instead of studying for exams, we're investing our efforts in project-work, which is a nice change of pace but results in spending 50% of your time coordinating with 5 different groups who all have different schedules, preferences, and personality disorders. Sort of like when I was working, actually.
Speaking of work, the looming fear of (un)employment has begun its slow descent over the campus. And this is where I start to struggle. Before coming here, I saw INSEAD as a way of getting to where I wanted to go. Now I don't remember where that is anymore. I find myself living in a state of complete denial, personally and professionally, and am studiously ignoring the fact that, at some point, school will end and I will have choices to make. A life to lead. I mean a real one, that involves routine, commitments and taxes rather than friends, parties and bubble-seclusion. Somehow, as the year progresses, I find it more and more difficult to imagine life after school, or to make any kind of decision at all. The downside of too much choice? Banal 30-something angst? Or a necessary step?
"Nous avons une grande force, c'est de ne pas savoir exactement ce que nous voulons. De l'incertitude profonde des desseins naît une étonnante liberté de manoeuvre."
Jean Anouilh
PS: In case you were wondering, I had a brilliant holiday with the mini INSEAD crew in Sexten, Italy. Lovely snow, lovely glühwein, lovely people, I recommend it! Go Team Sexten!
P3. Hard work. I know we say this every period, but it's true (when do the "easy" periods start?!) The focus is very different, though, now that most of our schedule is taken up by electives. Instead of studying for exams, we're investing our efforts in project-work, which is a nice change of pace but results in spending 50% of your time coordinating with 5 different groups who all have different schedules, preferences, and personality disorders. Sort of like when I was working, actually.
Speaking of work, the looming fear of (un)employment has begun its slow descent over the campus. And this is where I start to struggle. Before coming here, I saw INSEAD as a way of getting to where I wanted to go. Now I don't remember where that is anymore. I find myself living in a state of complete denial, personally and professionally, and am studiously ignoring the fact that, at some point, school will end and I will have choices to make. A life to lead. I mean a real one, that involves routine, commitments and taxes rather than friends, parties and bubble-seclusion. Somehow, as the year progresses, I find it more and more difficult to imagine life after school, or to make any kind of decision at all. The downside of too much choice? Banal 30-something angst? Or a necessary step?
"Nous avons une grande force, c'est de ne pas savoir exactement ce que nous voulons. De l'incertitude profonde des desseins naît une étonnante liberté de manoeuvre."
Jean Anouilh
PS: In case you were wondering, I had a brilliant holiday with the mini INSEAD crew in Sexten, Italy. Lovely snow, lovely glühwein, lovely people, I recommend it! Go Team Sexten!
Sep 5, 2007
Running to create value
I've received a bit of a scolding for not posting enough, so in the interest of the greater good, I am sacrificing my econ and finance homework to bring you updated news from the world of a weary P1. Oh, the generosity of spirit...
The key "take-away" from the last few days (note increased use of INSEAD buzz words) is that classes are severely hampering our social schedules. There are a lot of classes. A lot of them start at 8.30 am. There is also a lot of reading, which usually doesn't get finished (if at all) before 2 am. Ergo, I am exhausted, ill, tragically behind and in desperate need of a drink.
Here's a little technical info on the actual work that goes on at INSEAD. (The following will be of interest only to future students and applicants, and my parents. The rest of you (i.e. my classmates) can stop reading now and go back to cooking up Paris and Nicole's balance sheets.)
We have five classes in this first period: Micro-economics, Statistics, Finance, Accounting and a "leadership" class. The latter is the only one with a true level playing field; for everything else, the competitive advantage goes to the finance and maths geeks among us (sadly, I am not one of them). Professors come from all over the world, and each have their own teaching styles, which adds a little extra spice.
Students are divided in 4 sections in Fonty, with each section assigned its own amphi (here's a pic of my amphi, as we slowly drifted in for our stats class). We also all have assigned seats for all our classes, where we dutifully sit behind big name cards waiting for our professors to come to us. We are further subdivided into study groups of 5 or 6 people; these are the poor souls who will bear the brunt of our frustration, desperation and occasional bursts of irrational anger over the next four months. Bless them. There's quite a bit of group work required for class, but also tons and tons of individual reading and problem sets to prepare. Basically, there's a lot to do, and very little time to do it in.
The main time sucker is, of course, our hectic social lives. This is especially true for those of us who live in large shared houses. Official house dinners, unofficial house dinners, house party planning sessions, house rules discussion sessions, house "please help me with my accounting homework" sessions, you name it. Then there's all the parties at other people's houses. And study group dinners. And bumming around the campus café with the people who's names you've managed to remember and their friend Bob.
Second main time sucker: recruiting events. Given the overlap between the two class intakes, there are recruiting events on pretty much every day of the week. So, despite the fact that we've been here a grand total of 10 days, have only just about managed to unpack half the stuff out of our suitcases, and still can't quite find our way around Fontainebleau, my house collectively has probably attended half a dozen presentations already from banks, consulting firms and top industry companies.
Given that there are only 24 hrs in the day, to say that we are suffering serious scheduling conflicts and time management crises is the understatement of the century. And there are 10 months of this to go, folks. God help us.
I should perhaps end this post with a disclaimer. Apparently - given the nature of some of my previous grumblings - my loyal and much beloved readers are under the impression that I am not enjoying myself. This could not be further from the truth. Trust me, on the rare occasions that I manage to get a nanosecond of peace and quiet conducive to solitary reflection and introspection, I am suddenly hit with the realization that I am, indeed, having fun. But if I stop to think about that too much I'll fall even further behind on the reading and be late for the next party.
The key "take-away" from the last few days (note increased use of INSEAD buzz words) is that classes are severely hampering our social schedules. There are a lot of classes. A lot of them start at 8.30 am. There is also a lot of reading, which usually doesn't get finished (if at all) before 2 am. Ergo, I am exhausted, ill, tragically behind and in desperate need of a drink.
Here's a little technical info on the actual work that goes on at INSEAD. (The following will be of interest only to future students and applicants, and my parents. The rest of you (i.e. my classmates) can stop reading now and go back to cooking up Paris and Nicole's balance sheets.)
We have five classes in this first period: Micro-economics, Statistics, Finance, Accounting and a "leadership" class. The latter is the only one with a true level playing field; for everything else, the competitive advantage goes to the finance and maths geeks among us (sadly, I am not one of them). Professors come from all over the world, and each have their own teaching styles, which adds a little extra spice.
Students are divided in 4 sections in Fonty, with each section assigned its own amphi (here's a pic of my amphi, as we slowly drifted in for our stats class). We also all have assigned seats for all our classes, where we dutifully sit behind big name cards waiting for our professors to come to us. We are further subdivided into study groups of 5 or 6 people; these are the poor souls who will bear the brunt of our frustration, desperation and occasional bursts of irrational anger over the next four months. Bless them. There's quite a bit of group work required for class, but also tons and tons of individual reading and problem sets to prepare. Basically, there's a lot to do, and very little time to do it in.The main time sucker is, of course, our hectic social lives. This is especially true for those of us who live in large shared houses. Official house dinners, unofficial house dinners, house party planning sessions, house rules discussion sessions, house "please help me with my accounting homework" sessions, you name it. Then there's all the parties at other people's houses. And study group dinners. And bumming around the campus café with the people who's names you've managed to remember and their friend Bob.
Second main time sucker: recruiting events. Given the overlap between the two class intakes, there are recruiting events on pretty much every day of the week. So, despite the fact that we've been here a grand total of 10 days, have only just about managed to unpack half the stuff out of our suitcases, and still can't quite find our way around Fontainebleau, my house collectively has probably attended half a dozen presentations already from banks, consulting firms and top industry companies.
Given that there are only 24 hrs in the day, to say that we are suffering serious scheduling conflicts and time management crises is the understatement of the century. And there are 10 months of this to go, folks. God help us.
I should perhaps end this post with a disclaimer. Apparently - given the nature of some of my previous grumblings - my loyal and much beloved readers are under the impression that I am not enjoying myself. This could not be further from the truth. Trust me, on the rare occasions that I manage to get a nanosecond of peace and quiet conducive to solitary reflection and introspection, I am suddenly hit with the realization that I am, indeed, having fun. But if I stop to think about that too much I'll fall even further behind on the reading and be late for the next party.
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