We've almost reached the half-way point of the OBT. Key takeaway? This is not the same BM I've been working at for the past 9 months.
There are many reasons for that. Here, we take time to use all the right "tools" and "techniques" rather than get stressed out by the client and spend our time fighting fires. We talk about "people" stuff more than about "levers of profitability". We stop work at 6pm to get ready for the karaoke bar.
But these are all the differences I expected. What I wasn't anticipating is that these people are not the same people I'm surrounded by in BM's Paris office.
I can't tell you if the difference is that they're not French, or if it's the international environment in itself I'm responding to. But I like these people. I get these people. I am these people. Don't worry, I haven't taken a happy pill, I still feel like pummelling quite a few of my fellow trainees. But not everybody. My new "training buddies" are not pre-packaged, pasteurized 23-yr-olds with scary zombie eyes watching your every move to make sure you don't do anything "different." Instead they relish individuality, they're open and honest and seem to love nothing more than to talk about how BM drives them crazy and how they love Gossip Girl over a couple (more) drinks.
Before coming here my boss told me I'd be re-energized and come back to the office happy. Instead, these past few days have brought home to me how uncomfortable and unhappy I've been feeling at work, and why. So now what? Do I need to transfer? Quit? Move to a different country?
I love France in a profound, irrational, emotional way. But why is it that I can't fit in?