I am so tired.
That kind of tired that seeps into your bones and makes them heavy as rocks, that crawls in behind your stinging eyeballs, the kind of tired that you feel you'll never be able to shake off.
And I only recently came back from vacation. Something's rotten in the state of Res, I tell you.
Speaking of vacation, I am way overdue a posting. So here it is, a brief but exclusive glimpse into the glamorous Brazilian adventures of Res and Hottie:
Friday: Res bails early from CoolCo Sub and hops onto a small plane to a London with a big suitcase full of dresses. Hottie has just returned from Houston (obviously). The two of them are exhausted and skip the big Friday night out in London.
Saturday: Res and Hottie wait for pre-ordered cab. And wait some more. Cab doesn't show up. Learn to never trust anyone but black cabs. Make it to Heathrow in time for plane (and pancakes at Giraffe). Spend a long time in a flying metal tube. Land in Rio. It's hot. Hottie has a couple caipirinhas. Res is a party pooper and goes to bed.
Sunday: Our fearless heroines decide to jump off a mountain. Not before signing beautifully drafted liability waiver, specifying that it applies to all hang-gliding activities such as "take-off and landing (including, but not limited to, crashing)". Despite said waiver, both girls manage stunning, crash-free landings. Spend rest of day recovering on Ipanema with some coconut water and a couple camarao. Res takes first caipirinha. And second.
Monday: Trusty host Daniel takes the girls on tour of city. Gets them lost in Tijuca National Park. Explains ups and downs of marriage over large skewers of meat. Then plonks them down on a bar terrace overlooking Santa Teresa for caipirinha o'clock. Where we meet a yacht stewardess and a straight man with a T-shirt that says "Flower". Res takes a bit of a fancy to Brazilian beers. At dinner, Hottie attempts to identify menu options by making barnyard animal sounds at the waiter and Res orders a mint tea only to receive a small swamp in a bucket.
Tuesday: More beach time. The girls even manage to squeeze in a run and purchase bikinis (size large, therefore covering half a butt-cheek; we learn that what we think of as "normal" bikini bottoms are referred to here as American bikinis, diapers or parachutes. Lovely). Then Christ the Redeemer goes all mystical in the fog and Copacabana sparkles from the top of the Sugarloaf, before it's time to samba the night away at the fabulous Rio Scenarium. More caipirinhas are had.
Wednesday: It rains. Res gets a sunburn (rainburn?) and turns into a bit of a camarao herself. For good cheer, Res and Hottie purchase Havaianas and try to sing for beer money. It doesn't work. Res orders fish for dinner and gets beef. Never mind. There's always more samba to save the day (until a senior citizen decides to demonstrate his trademarked pelvic thrust move and the girls run away... fast).
Thursday: Bye bye Rio, off to Paraty. It rains. Paraty is nonetheless charming. And serves wonderful caipirinhas. Res gets a samba lesson from a waiter.
Friday: Sunshine in Paraty makes for idyllic beach time. Res misses her coconut water, though. In the evening, the girls are entertained by the fabulous Yara and Richard Roberts and eat the best food of the whole trip. Res makes farofa and feels pretty pleased with herself. Hottie learns how to make caipirinhas and London cocktail nights are transformed forever.
Saturday: Last day in Brazil, spent in Sao Paulo with INSEAD alumns and friends. Much food, drink and dancing is had by all. It rains. That's because Brazil is sad the girls are leaving.
Sunday: Plane, more plane, an early Monday morning breakfast at Heathrow, another plane, and arrival in Zurich. The vacation is over. Time to prepare work trip to South Africa.
More on that in another post.